This girl is more easily done than said...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
