PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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