DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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