'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
