You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
