He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
