The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
