So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Is it because I queefed?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
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