on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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