Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
