you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
