Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
