she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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