brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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