I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
