We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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