it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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