apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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