I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
