Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
