awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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