white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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