I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
