I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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