she was so not down for the gang bang
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
