i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
