sorry about calling you the devil all night.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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