Sry I called you an 8
My hand turned me down
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize