No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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