who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
