You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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