you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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