He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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