I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize