Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
we should paint friendship bongs
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