At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
