yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Randomize
