This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize