we're blogging at a bar
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
