U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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