i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
