Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
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