im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
