five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
