i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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