I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
