nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
