best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize