3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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