Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
