So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
