This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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