make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
