Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
