she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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