I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
