thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Randomize
