if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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