Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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