you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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