I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
