you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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